Stop wasting water!

Ok, so I work at a place where there is a sink visible to the public. And at various times for various reasons it is sometimes left running. And every once in a while, this will make someone ANGRY. Angry enough to be rude to me about the running sink. Invariably they’ll say something like “You shouldn’t waste water like that.” And my brain dies a little each time.

Ok, before you get uppity with me, I understand that it takes time and money and a complex infrastructure to supply water to an urban population, but lets get one thing straight.


Water is the world’s most abundant RENEWABLE resource. In case anyone has forgotten, 3/4s of the Earth’s surface is covered in the stuff. It’s literally the most abundant compound on the planet. There is more water here than there is ANYTHING ELSE.

Furthermore, its not just that we have a ton of it that we can never run out of it, at least not by leaving the sink running. I could run that fucker at full blast for eternity, and every fucking drop is going to end up back in the water supply one way or another. The only way I could WASTE water would be by loading it onto a rocket and launching it into the fucking Sun. That is the only way I could ever take any amount of water out of circulation on this planet.

Anyway, back to the water thing. When you boil it down, what I’m wasting is the effort to sanitize and deliver that water. What I am wasting is MONEY. And I’m not wasting your money. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID HIPPIE BITCH. Go hop in your Prius and pretend you’re saving the world somewhere else.

Long haired freaky people need not apply?

Unless you’re one of those sexually liberated woodstock hippie chicks. Then I’ll be happy to shut off that water.

About The Author


the rotten bastard who runs this shithole and theoretically makes with the funny.

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06 2010

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